New Movement Medicine work for couples – September 2015
Announcing The Space Between Us: A new two-module on-going group for couples beginning August 2016
Our relationship has provided the most challenging, fulfilling and profound path I have ever walked along. It’s the place in my life where I grow the most. It’s the place where Susannah and I nourish and strengthen one another so that we are able to give what we have to give through our work. And it’s the place where I have been stretched way beyond what I ever thought would be possible.
For many years Susannah and I worked together with couples. Then, when we began our Apprenticeship programme in 2009, we took a break from our work with couples in order to concentrate on the apprenticeship and, deepen our own relationship. In the time since then, our marriage has evolved to a level of relationship I didn’t even know existed. We have had great support in this from our very good friends, Jake and Eva Chapman, whose relationship has provided a beacon of hope for so many people. They have shared with us some of the principles of relationship that they have found to be helpful on their own journey and Jake has also produced a website called relating-manual.com to share their discoveries.
Jake considers there to be three broad areas where the work they have developed can support people in relationships:
1. If your relationship is in crisis
“Most people,” says Jake, “only search out material on how to manage a relationship when they are in trouble. The good news is that there are common patterns in relationship crises, and when you become aware of these patterns, you are more likely to find a way through. The bad news is that the way out of all crises is for both people in the relationship to face up to something that they would prefer not to face.”
If you are in a relationship in crisis, go to the ‘Crisis Handling’ section of their website and follow the route suggested there.
2. If you are starting a new relationship
When Jake and Eva first met in 1979, Eva had already been married twice before, Jake had been married once before, and both had two children from their previous relationships.
“When we started out we were not promising material,” says Jake. “We argued and fought for the first two years we were together. However, we adopted a number of strategies and principles that enabled us to work through the mess and end up in an idyllic place.”
All of the concepts and tools described in the manual have been used by Jake and Eva themselves to support their own relationship. If you are in the early stages of a relationship and want essential guidelines on how best to make it work, start with the ‘Principles’ section and follow your interest from there.
3. If you are in an established relationship and want to deepen it
Maintaining a good relationship is like maintaining anything else – it’s an active process that requires regular attention and effort. But it’s all worth it.
“We still confront issues between us and continue to deepen our love and contact – and best of all the sex continues to be more intense, more exhilarating and exciting.”
In a sense, your relationship can also become a spiritual path. “This often happens as children grow up and leave home,” says Jake. “Your relationship can then become the focus of your journey together towards greater awareness and deeper contact with the Divine.”
If you find yourself in this place, then you may want to begin by looking at the ‘Relationship Path’.
That just about covers all of us who are in relationship I think!!
Susannah and I have been using Jake and Eva’s work in our own relationship since we met them more than 10 years ago, blending their work with the insights that we’ve gleaned from nearly 30 years of being together and the power and efficacy of Movement Medicine. We’ve now come to recognise that we have some seriously potent medicine to share with anyone who is interested in approaching relationship as a spiritual practice, and we’ve received permission from Jake and Eva to include and integrate their material in our new Space Between Us two-module course. For us it feels like now is the right time to share what we’ve learned and create a space for couples to share their journeys and learn from being with other couples who are willing to explore and learn together. Whatever state your relationship is in, if you are committed to finding the way through, then we’d like to invite you to join us.
We want to make it clear that this course is open to all couples, regardless of previous experience of conscious dance practice. Movement Medicine will form the ground of our work but no previous experience of the practice is required. All that is needed to attend is the desire to learn from one another and to be open to new ways of seeing and being together.
So dear dancers, after a summer of looking after our land, looking after each other and resting deeply, we are back on the road and looking forward to the next chapter in this great adventure called life.
Hope to see you on the road.
With love and respect
Ya’Acov DK, September 2015